Men are Adventurous and Women are Wild –
Women are wild and men are the adventurers who seek out the female creatures who fascinate them.
Through my observation (both self and external) I’ve noticed some tendencies.
I describe it this way… Men are explorers. Adventurers. You want to conquer. Whether that be territories, situations or people.
Women are wild. Completely fucking wild.
If you don’t believe me because you look at your wife of 10, 20 or 30 years and can’t see the wilderness in her… there are many very good reasons for that.
First things first though…
Made For It
Everything about the way a man thinks indicates he’s constantly exploring. He is outward looking. He is action oriented.
He seeks. He finds. He conquers.
Ultimately, he’s goal focused. He loves a mission.
In the end, he’s looking for a R-E-S-U-L-T.
As well, you guys love your indicators of those results too, right?
You love your medals and trophies and the slaps on the back. You love seeing your name in lights.
There is NOTHING WRONG with that.
In Good Company
Columbus was an explorer. He crossed the Atlantic four times in search of the New World. There were many explorers who came before him too.
Inventors like Thomas Edison and Ben Franklin kept seeking, exploring and taking action. They got big results too.
These are dominant tendencies in men. Women have them too, but I’m speaking in generalities here.
I’m also speaking of our modern world which by all accounts is still run very much by men.
Women Are Wild
Men may be explorers but women are W-I-L-D. Yes, we are.
Some of you are going to scoff at that, I know.
Some of you are going to recognize truth in it.
Some of you will be surprised and not know how to reconcile it with all that you’ve seen, heard and experienced with women.
Let me flesh this out for you…
Women are wild because deep down we are truly independent.
Why? Because we know we’re alone. We know we’re ALL alone.
When you’re alone there’s going to be a lot you don’t know.
It’s that unknowable aspect of Life that women are much more comfortable with than men.
Perhaps that’s why we work so hard in the beginning of our lives to create a family and a home.
Women want to create harmony and balance within themselves and their community and families. We want the people around us to be happy and comfortable.
Perhaps the awareness of aloneness makes women more apt to reach out and connect with others?
On the other hand, men work hard in the beginning of their lives to separate themselves from the pack and assert their independence.
You guys want to make your mark and prove you can be your “own man.”
You guys are married to your I-D-E-A-S of yourself and life… much more so than women.
Too often men think they “know.”
When you think it’s important to “get it” right away you’re just setting yourself up and the women around you for misunderstanding.
Do you think you know more about life than Life itself?
When you’re married to your ideas at all costs the simplest things are a threat. You’ve set yourself up for a wicked BATTLE.
Why else do men desperately need their groups? Who wants to go into battle alone?
The male ego is real and it’s the biggest dragon you’ll ever slay.
The need in men to explore and be adventurous weighed against the need for the recognition of those adventures is overwhelming.
And that’s where you guys really get tripped up. There’s nothing wrong with exploring and being adventurous.
It’s the N-E-E-D to be recognized for it that has crippled humanity.
Top of The Mountain
The biggest difference between the nature of men and women can be summed up this way…
Men need to explore the mountain, get to the top and plant their flag.
Then, they really need the world to know about it.
Women though, don’t necessarily want to get to the top of the mountain. Although, it’s nice if they do.
What women want, is the freedom to climb the mountain wherever and whenever they want. That’s it.
So, in modern day society women have become like a caged animal in the zoo.
We’ve adapted to modern life, but we don’t always like it. No we don’t.
Women have gained careers and equal status on many fronts…
However, we’ve lost our wilderness.
When you cage a wild animal long enough it forgets how to hunt.
In many ways, whether you’re aware of it or not, as a man you’ve contributed to the denuding of our natures.
Asking For Awareness
Here’s how you may have helped to “denude” women and ways to turn it around:
Watch your thoughts and behaviors the next time you deal with a woman. Especially if she’s someone you find “abrasive” or “difficult.” Remember… women are wild.
Are you tempted to make a snide remark? Do you want to offer a piece of veiled criticism?
Are you tempted to make her feel guilty about something or manipulate her somehow?
Do you want to condescend to her or belittle her? Or heaven forbid… do a little gas-lighting?
If you said yes to even the thought of doing any of those things then in some small way you have contributed.
But a fish can’t be blamed for getting swept along the river.
I’m just asking for awareness. That’s the first step. Just take a closer look at your thoughts and attitudes toward women.
Take a closer look at your thoughts around needing recognition too. It might be surprising.
In the meantime I have a hankering for some raw meat…
Men are Adventurous and Women are Wild
This is part two of Men are Adventurous and Women are Wild.
After I posted the first article on this topic I received a comment about it via text from a client. He’s been extremely supportive over the last 3-4 years.
In fact, every single time I write and post an article (and send out a link via email)… he texts me with a comment.
It’s always supportive and always positive. It’s wonderful to receive these types of comments and I’m grateful to him.
Sonny Side Down
Having said that, I found it strange that he connected “wild” with “sex.”
Since I hadn’t mentioned sex AT ALL in the first article.
To preserve his privacy, let’s call him “Sonny.”
So, Sonny… texted me after the 1st part of Men are Adventurous and Women are Wild saying he didn’t think I was that wild.
Why did he think that? He said it was because my sensual massage sessions are so conservative. Huh?
Now, it’s true that my massage sessions are very conservative as far as erotic services go.
I’m really hands only. No extras. Absolutely NO full service. Not never.
However, that is what I choose to do in my work. Those are my boundaries I put in place.
If I wanted to do otherwise I would. And therein lies the rub.
My Location, My Rules
It’s MY choice. MY choice. Not Sonny’s or anyone else’s.
Just because an erotic provider may be full on with the sexual encounters doesn’t mean she’s any wilder than any other woman either.
It’s the independent spirit of women we’re talking about here, not physical circumstances.
I never mentioned the word sex in the entire first article on this topic.
So why then, would Sonny think that I’m not that wild because my massage service is so conservative?
What Sonny and many other men don’t understand about women is our independent nature.
It’s what attracts you to us, but it’s also the thing that makes you want to control us too.
In the first article I made the point that women are deeply independent and know that we are all alone.
When a woman is in touch with that part of herself she can be a wild cat in bed.
She can also be a wild cat in bed (and elsewhere) if she’s been messed with and damaged.
However, she will probably be highly compliant in other ways too.
It’s the serene, calm, balanced woman who can find her inner wilderness and still navigate her way in this man’s world both inside and outside the bedroom.
However… that takes a lot of work and awareness on her part though.
Sonny’s reaction tells me I have much work to do in clarifying this topic.
Both Sides Lose
Women are inherently wild, independent, exuberant, and free in many ways a man can’t begin to fathom…. including Sonny.
Again… therein lies the rub.
What you are inexplicably attracted to in women is exactly what you try to control.
The need to control a woman’s independent nature taints every relationship you have with women.
If it goes on long enough and intensely enough it’s guaranteed to destroy the relationship.
Whether a man steals a woman’s wild, independent nature or women lose that connection over an extended period of time, both sides lose.
It leaves a vacuum.
Men feel that vacuum when relating to women and women feel it in themselves.
So men try to fill that wild vacuum by going to strip clubs, escort agencies and massage parlors.
It’s a poor substitute… since most of the time what you get is not real wilderness.
Men, women and American society as a whole are suffering because of the loss of this wilderness.
Try This Instead
So, if your wife has lost that wild sparkle and you’d love to see that glint in her eye again, try this…
Stop judging her and women in general.
Stop judging your lady not just verbally, but in the deepest part of your mind and heart too.
The unfortunate truth is that for many men, the idea that women need to be controlled gets into their thinking early and it gets in deep.
… and it usually starts with some type of judgement toward women.
You can begin to break that cycle just by being aware that you don’t know as much as you think you do about women.
It’s okay not to know that much about us… women don’t totally get themselves either.
This shift in your perspective will make it easier for that special woman in your life to find her wilderness again.
Encourage and coax it out of your lady. In the end, we’ll all be better off for it.
And remember to keep being the adventurous types you are. Women love that in men….
And in you too Sonny. 🙂
Just let us be our wild selves and watch how that changes your relationships.
Thank you for reading. Have a very sensual day. Dyann xoxo