Men are Adventurous and Women are Wild
Happy St. Valentine’s Day!!
This is a continuation of a multi part series on my theory as to why women are wild.
In their essential natures, women are completely wild. Read parts 1 & 2 of Women are Wild… Here.
Let me share a story from a session I had recently.
Apparently, my client had not had sex with his wife in more than 20 years.
The sex stopped soon after the birth of their second child.
There were extreme complications surrounding each birth.
So, the mother had significant recovery time after both pregnancies, not to mention a tremendous scare as to the health of their new born children.
My client stated that was often the given reason for her not wanting sex.
In her mind, sex lead to pregnancy.
Pregnancy lead to childbirth and childbirth come with major complications.
Why volunteer for a third tour; was in essence her explanation.
It’s certainly understandable.
However, it doesn’t explain the 20+ years without sex with her husband.
He eventually came to believe that she was never much ‘into it’.
I hear that a lot.
Many men say their wives who show little interest in having sex with them often arrive at this conclusion.
It’s true that women and men can have varying degrees of sexual desire.
However, sexual desire is not only normal it’s an extremely powerful force within the human spirit.
Sexual desire cause some crazy behavior in human beings when allowed to run amok.
So, when I hear a man say that a particular woman or women in general don’t really like sex, I say you guys gotta look in the mirror.
FYI, my posts are about taking responsibility not blame. So, please take what I’m about to say in that spirit.
I don’t believe for one second that women in general or most any woman in particular lacks sexual desire.
A woman’s drive for sex is just as strong as any man’s and in some cases more so.
Why? Because women are wild… And because women ARE sex.
We ARE Sex
We inhabit bodies that scream sexuality at every moment of every day.
A woman who respects herself and has a healthy body has a natural inclination toward sex. Especially, with someone she cares about.
The only question is how frequent that natural rhythm of desire is.
As adults, if a woman seems to have no desire for sex I would suggest it’s because of daily conditioning over months, years and decades.
It subtle or not so subtle ways she’s been trained to oppress her sexuality.
She’s been trained to think that letting that tiger out of the bag leads to some form of external oppression.
How? With the looks and comments and god forbid the sexual harassment and outright sexual abuse.
It’s tough to run into that wall perverted time and again and still keep a fresh sexual outlook.
Eventually, a woman decides her sexuality is a weapon better laid to rest under lock and key where no one can get to.
That’s where you guys come in. We need you to help us open that door again.
I believe it’s part of your duty as men to the women closest to you.
Since it was a series of events by men before you who inhibited her sexuality in the first place.
The systematic inhibiting of female sexuality starts early and happens often.
Women are wild –> becomes –> women are caged.
Not unlike a zoo.
It’s true… as a little girl grows she receives distinct and indelible messages about her body, her appearance, her sexuality and how to be a woman from the men in her life.
Sex is power. Sex is energy. Sex is desire.
Acknowledge the Power…
The sum total of these three forces [Power, Energy & Desire] are the basis for life itself. The nullification and oppression of these forces is the basis for illness and unhappiness.
That’s why it’s so important to acknowledge the wilderness in women and your need as men to explore it.
Please acknowledge this desire.
Why? Because when you deny that impulse it perverts itself into one of two things… domination or intimidation.
Many men who deny the strong and nearly uncontrollable desire they have for women try to dominate them with all sorts of manipulations and sometimes physical aggression.
For other men, their sense of intimidation by women drives them to be passive-aggressive.
Leaving a woman when she needs his support, not taking a stand for her or even being able to stand up to her.
Women get so used to being jerked around one way or another by men, purely based on their sexuality, it alters our self identity.
Little girls grow into adult women.
If they have been given derogatory or contradictory information about their sexuality she may have learned to survive in this man’s world by altering herself.
Adapting and altering are two different things.
Everyone needs to learn to go with the flow without losing their sense of self.
Yet losing themselves, is exactly what happens to women when men try to take, get, use or suppress female sexuality.
The fact is women are wild. Of course, you don’t have to believe me or take my word for it.
However, I’m a woman and your a man so, I’ve got some street cred.
When I say women are wild I’m not talking about behavior or interests or physical things.
I’m talking about the essence of a woman.
The deepest part of her nature that is independent, free and absolutely fucking wild.
It’s the part of women that men are hopelessly attracted to, which makes many men feel helpless.
For some it’s liberating.
Although, if most men felt comfortable with a woman’s wild exuberance we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
Unfortunately, feeling helpless, is a nearly unforgivable thing in a man’s eyes.
To make a man feel helpless or worse, look helpless, is justification for aggression in a man’s mind.
Not all of you think this way, but many do.
So, I urge all men to turn inward and challenge themselves.
The wild nature of a woman’s spirit is not there to threaten or weaken you. Quite the contrary.
The winning of a woman’s heart is akin to the capturing of a wild horse.
If you coax a horse into allowing you to ride it, the horse will gladly do so. The horse is a harmonious animal. Comfortable with itself within a group.
It helps when they’re offered a lush green field to graze in and a clean, warm stall.
For the cowboy who wants to ‘break’ a horse into submission for his riding pleasure, he can never be sure of the horse’s loyalty or safety.
This is not just a euphemism. I’ve seen this close up.
High Horse Confidential
I’ve owned horses and worked around them for years.
The harsh owners may have had obedient, but difficult horses. The caring, disciplined owners had an equine friend.
No horse is 100% ‘safe’ as they have a mind of their own.
However, a well cared for and respected horse creates a dynamic between rider and animal that is clearly synergistic.
Do you want synergy with the women closest to you? Or do you want to be right?
It’s not always a man’s strong suit to go within and see where he’s weak.
The simple fact is women need you to heal and transform those frail places. Now more than ever.
It doesn’t take much.
Most of the time it’s just a simple internal acknowledgement that women scare the crap out of you.
That’s it. You don’t have to tell anybody.
It’s the mere internal acceptance of your own thoughts and emotions which transforms how you relate to women.
In the wake of the #MeToo movement, women continue to rise up.
We so badly need strong, compassionate and inclusive-minded men to join us.
So, again I urge you gentlemen, turn inward and accept women in their full, dynamic, wild exuberance.
Life only gets better from there. I promise. 🙂 Read parts 1 & 2 Here.
Yours with passion and sensuality, Dyann xoxo