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The Body House

Blog and Bodywork for Men

Pushing & Backing Off: Striking the Right Balance (Part 1)

pushing and backing off

I appreciate the clients who come to see me for a massage.

An aspect of the sessions I enjoy the most, are the interesting conversations.

The nature of the work I do facilitates a greater depth of conversation than would normally occur at a regular work situation, event or club.

So, this leads me to see some patterns in your personalities.

The Endless Tug of War

For example, the issue of knowing when and when not to press a woman on an issue.

This is one where you guys consistently go wrong.

It’s also an area where women are notoriously bad at communicating what they need.

So, let me try to explain it for the ladies in your life.

What it comes down to is this; you guys tend to push when you should back off and back off when you should push.

In both cases, you guys tend to be totally clueless as to where she’s at emotionally and energetically.

To be fair, women tend to jump on a man when he doesn’t get it and gripe at them until you’re both fed up.

Unfortunately, it still leaves you guys scratching your heads as to why your lady isn’t responding the way you’d like.

In the meantime, she doesn’t understand why you still don’t get it.

Women tend to be aware of multiple layers to living that men often aren’t.

This makes women more sensitive to things that are not obvious to your sense of reality.

Herein lies the rub.

For a man to understand his woman better he’s got to pay attention more to the small signs and clues she’s giving him.

Pushing Her When You Need to Back Off

Let’s look at an example:

Say you and your wife (or girlfriend or significant other or even your Mom!) are leaving the house at the same time.

You offer her a ride to wherever she is going and she says, “No thanks, I think I’ll just walk to the train station.”

You ask again and she refuses saying, “No really, I want to walk.”

Now this is the time to leave it. Instead you persist and keep pushing.

Perhaps you’re feeling a bit rejected, so you press. She refuses again.

What’s going on? Is she keeping a secret from you?

Maybe you wanted that time in the car with her alone? Now you’ll have to wait.

Your mind begins to work over time. Is there someone else? Is she cheating on you?

Perhaps you’re feeling a low burn in your gut that’s seeking to prove your dominance?

You’ve now created tension between the two of you for no reason.

It may turn into an argument right then or maybe later.

It’s the small things like this that add up over time.

Be Patient

Let me tell you this, sometimes women just need to be left alone. Don’t worry. We’ll come back.

Just be cool. Being patient with women will take you a long way.

For what to do when you back off when she needs you to push…

Go Here.

Stay Sensual, Dyann xoxo

Read Part 2 HERE.

The music video below is a MUST SEE. It’s called “Pushing On.”

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