The Sociopath You Love:
Yes, Men Love Them Too
I see a lot of articles referencing sociopaths, relationships and love popping up around the web. I’ve even written a few.
I thought I would address it again here. I’ve found an article that suggests 1 in 25 people, either men or women are considered sociopathic.
I had no idea sociopathy was quite as prevalent as it is. Yikes.
So, basically we’ve all known at least one or two.
Some of us have had relationships with them. Some have family members who fit the bill, and some of us work with them.
In this article, I will refer to the 13 RULES to FOLLOW if you’re in a relationship with a sociopath.
I will paraphrase what their article said.
THEIR article will be in purple. MY comments in BLACK.
13 RULES to FOLLOW From…
Most people believe sociopaths are just the mass murderers in our society; however, that is not the truth. Estimates say that 1 in 25 of men and women are diagnosable with this personality disorder. Chances are you will cross paths or have already engaged in a relationship with one.
**The ‘1-25’ statistic seems right to me. Although I’ve never heard a stat like this before.**
Charmer. Con artist. Chameleon. Master Manipulator. These are just a few names by which you may have come to know a sociopath, a single individual that experiences little to no conscious guilt, empathy, shame or remorse and has an ongoing pattern of disregard for the rights and concern of others.
**OK… wow. A lot of guys get to this point in high school! Most every girl has dated at least one guy like this.
The men reading this have been on a sports team with at least one and probably work with several depending on the industry they work in.
Heck, some of you are even married to one!**
If you find yourself in a relationship with a sociopath, you will know by the violations you are sustaining to your sentiments, physical being, sexual integrity and/or finances. You will know the signs of a sociopath.
**The sad thing is some people, especially women, get used to this type of behavior. They think it’s part of loving someone. **
13 Rules for Dealing With a Sociopath:
1. Accept that some people truly have no conscience.
**The more you want things to be other than they are… the tougher this gets. Some people, especially women, want to think they can love their men into being better people. Not!**
2. Go with your instincts or intuition versus the implied role he/she has taken on.
**YES!! I’ve learned this the hard way. Now when my instincts tell me something… even when I don’t know why the in the world it’s saying it… I Listen. It works.**
3. Give three strikes.
**Uhmmm. I’ll let you make up your own mind, but at this point in my life… that sounds like a lot to me.**
4. Be suspicious.
**Yes, but try not to be paranoid. Like the rest of us.**
5. Don’t confuse fear with respect.
**Amen. If this principle was taught early enough in our lives we wouldn’t be fooled so often by bullies and those who love to intimidate as we get older. Fear begets fear. Respect begets respect.**
6. Do not join the game of sociopaths.
**In other words, don’t try to change them and certainly don’t try to beat them at their own manipulative games. It won’t work.
A fighter needs an opponent. Sociopaths needs to fight to confirm his/her identity.
They are nothing without it.
Hence, they will ALWAYS become embattled with those around them. If and until THEY decide to change.**
7. Avoid and refuse any contact.
**YES. This really is the only way to have an impact with someone who is considered a sociopath. It’s the only way to shake them. Stop paying attention.**
The Sociopath You Love: Yes, Men Love Them Too Continued…
So, we all known a sociopath.
Here are rules 8 through 13 of the 13 RULES to FOLLOW .
8. Do not live in isolation.
**This is a big one. So to speak. The more isolated you are the more your perception can be warped. We all need an objective eye.
Talk to your friends and family members that you trust.
You don’t have to betray confidences, but tell them some of the behavior you have to deal with from your beloved sociopath. Then see what they say.**
9. Enlist support.
**In the article they suggest getting support from… family and friends, an attorney, therapist and/or the police. Join a support group. That’s it.
I’m not sure what the author is getting at here, but if you need to gather this much support maybe it’s time to get the hell out.**
10. Document, document, document.
**That’s it. The author didn’t actually add any comments to this title.
I have to assume they’re suggesting you document the behavior of your beloved crazy person because no one will believe you. Unless they’re a behavioral specialist who deals sociopaths regularly.
The author may have been suggesting you document their behavior if you are thinking of divorcing them or leaving a business you have together… since lawyers will be needed.
Don’t let it get to that point though.**
11. Recognize the “pity play.”
**Oh boy, is this a big one… narcissists, bullies, manipulators, intimidators, sociopaths or anyone who uses tactics to get what they want from people… wallow in self-pity.
And honestly, I know some of you won’t like hearing this but, our current POTUS is a text book example. He wallows in it. Wallow. Wallow. Wallower.**
12. Never agree to help him/her conceal his/her true character.
**That’s right. It won’t help. Don’t be an enabler. Don’t be Ivanka.**
13. Share your experience.
**Ok, this sounds a bit like the author is repeating themselves.
They’ve made reference to gathering support and talking to people about your sociopath’s behavior.
Basically, if you’re feeling jerked over and disrespected… you are.
Unless, you think everyone is jerking you over and disrespecting you. Then perhaps there’s other issues to look at…**
Well, that’s fodder for another article. ‘Til then, good-bye and God bless.
Below is a podcast of an interview.
The interviewee is a medically diagnosed female sociopath who wrote a book on the subject.
Anti-social Personality Disorder = Sociopath
And here’s another video featuring a female psychologist. One of the people she studies is Richard Kuklinski.
He was a stone cold killer for the mob for many years. Yet managed to have a wife and children during that time.
Fortunately, he is spending the rest of his life in a federal prison. His case is fascinating in the most horrifying of ways…
Stay sensual, Dyann xoxo