The Rexes Need To Rise Up Now Like Never Before…
As a woman who is now in my early 60s, who has offered coaching sessions for a number of years, I’ve often spoken with people in my generation.
It struck me recently, that there seems to be a trend around the topic of being ‘seen’.
This idea of being seen is not limited to a certain age group. I’m seeing it pop up everywhere.
Surprisingly…
Having said that, I’ve been particularly taken aback by how many mature men are processing the idea of being seen in their later years.
These are men who are very successful in their chosen careers. These kings are intelligent and healthy and still have tremendous vigor.
They are either married or have been and have offspring.
They are also men who are eternally curious; the kind that yearns for books, music, people and experiences that push the boundaries their current understanding of life.
In most ways, these men are comfortable and content with where they’ve arrived.
So, it is from this starting point I want to address mature men directly and their growing and inflamed need to be seen.
The Rexes
To keep the definition of this type of mature man taut, let’s call him → the Rex.
Why?
Because Rex is also a word for king or emperor.
I’d say this sums up this type of man quite nicely, don’t you?
The Achilles Heel
Where the Achilles Heel presents itself is in a deep, hidden place that no one talks about… including the Rexes.
Now I need to be clear on exactly what I mean by the use of the word ‘seen’ because it’s a critical point.
I do NOT mean being noticed or being recognized.
Recognized = a type of fame — and Rexes don’t care about that. They’ve already done and achieved so much, they don’t need any ‘fame’ or recognition to validate it.
Noticed = acknowledgment — like being acknowledged for doing a good job. A pat on the back is nice, but doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. Rexes know they’ve done it. They don’t need your validation.
What Is It Then?
So, then what IS a Rex seeking and why does being seen fall so firmly in the center?
I believe what we’re talking about here is a type of relinquishment.
Let me explain…
Once a man gets into the later stages of his life he stops caring about certain things.
What he still cares about is making an impact in his chosen field. About leaving a legacy both personally and professionally. He cares about having good health and energy. He wants to continue experiencing sexual vitality and emotional intimacy.
What he doesn’t care about at this stage in his life is the superficial aspects of everything I just mentioned.
The noticing of those things. The recognition of them.
Those are weak ass, skimming-the-surface level types of life experiences.
They mattered when he was a young, stumbling lion eager to prove himself.
Now that he’s earned the throne, he wants to be seen as still having that deep, burning, all consuming fire of desire that lead him to those deep experiences in the first place.
The difference now is that a Rex whose earned the throne, will keep his flame hidden in a chamber deep inside his being. Unlike the young lion he once was who wielded his flame haphazardly, burning himself and others in the process.
Now however, a Rex on the throne will not let his flame out of that chamber for anyone. Not his wife. Nor his kids. Not another Rex.
Unless, he feels absolutely compelled to do so.
To do this effectively though, a Rex must feel seen as having that deeply hidden flame in the first place.
If that flame is NOT SEEN, the Rex knows he will be ineffectual in the world.
He will wither because of it. His impact, legacy, health and vitality will all soon become just dust in the wind.
And let’s be honest,
We’ve all seen our fathers, grandfathers and the neighbor down the street wither away because he is no longer seen and hasn’t been for quite some time.
This, in spite of the fact that he is a learned man with years of accomplishments behind him.
This former Rex, is now a toothless lion. He waits for the well meaning zookeepers to take him away and give him the special needle.
This of course, is compassionate in the eyes of zookeepers. It prevents the toothless lion from really suffering before he dies. They are doing him a favor they say.
Sadly, this trajectory the Rex is on began because he started to doubt himself, his value, his worth. The Rex can see he’s being ignored. The Rex can see he’s not being seen.
Being ignored = Being invisible = Not being seen = Death to the Rex
Aye, There’s The Rub
In today’s world, the Rex starts to feel invisible because no one is listening to him anymore. The irony is that he’s been where the young lions are now. He has so much to offer and yet, no one is listening. No one sees that his fire still burns.
In generations gone by, Rexes had their place at the head of the family and in leadership positions in communities. Now, we just turn away from them.
What Rexes Really Care About
Rexes want to be seen. Rexes want to feel relevant.
To feel relevant, a Rex must know that others can see how much fire they still have.
Rexes want you to see their desire for life, for love, for their work, for sex, for creativity, for winning, for learning, for using themselves as a mentor and resource to others. To leave a worthwhile legacy.
It’s mission critical to a Rex.
So, young lions and lionesses out there, the next time you have the opportunity to talk to a Rex… listen. Ask questions. Take notes if you can. What you will gain from that discussion will undoubtedly shape your future.
In the words of Muhammad Ali, “Rumble young man, rumble.”
That was 60 years ago. Time is flying by us much faster now.
As a young lion, you don’t have much time to stumble too much while you’re rumbling.
To prevent that, listen to a Rex now and often. It’ll be the best thing you can do for your life.
The Rex won’t really care what you do. He knows it’s your choice. The Rex won’t really care if he ever gets much of a thank you either.
He will care that a young lion saw his fire, though.
The Rex will feel seen.
So I’ll end this by saying, “Listen young man (and woman), listen.”
Thanks for your interest in The Body House.
Contact Dyann at: thebodyhouse.bi@gmail.com
ALL Links – https://linktr.ee/bodyhouse1
