How To Voice Boundaries Without Using Criticism

In this short segment, Dyann offers a few words on how to get your point across in a way someone can hear it… voice boundaries without criticism.

As well, Dyann always likes to add the male/female dynamics to any topic on communication and relationships.

It’s imperative we start honoring the masculine and the feminine energies in ourselves and each other.

Part of that is knowing how to set standards for yourself, have a structure for your life and voice boundaries!

Without boundaries there is no possibility of earning real respect with others.

If the below video (about how to voice boundaries) does not play click here…

TRANSCRIPT BELOW VIDEO or listen on Spreaker & All Major Podcast Platforms

Today we’re going to look at the difference between boundaries and criticism and yes there is a difference.

Now it’s important that when men and women are communicating that a man understands where he stands with a woman and women need to get better at offering boundaries.

That doesn’t mean you just criticize him.

This is really important actually.

It makes all the difference in the world to know how to say this is what I really need and if you could please do ABC. Then get specific and do it in a way that’s non-judgmental or critical.

We need to remember that men are naturally defensive for a reason. For a very good reason.

Their instincts are to defend and protect and be territorial which is exactly what we want from men.

That’s how they defend homes and families and property and help to take care of people in this world.

Especially, women and children.

So, we don’t want to neuter a man in a way, by being too critical when describing what we need.

And ladies, we always have to remember, men and women do not think alike.

Men are never going to think like us and we don’t want them to. They’re much more straightforward.

They’re simpler in many ways and as women it’s true that we are more vulnerable, in many ways.

Feminine energy is soft and yielding that’s the nature of feminine energy.

Masculine energy is action oriented and forthright and of course both sexes have both energies, but clearly if you inhabit a physiology that is either male or female you’re going to have more of one than the other.

So having said that, it’s becoming obvious in our society that more and more women are walking around feeling very angry.

A lot of that has to do with the fact that men are not nearly as protective as they used to be. So women feel even more vulnerable unsupported and unprotected than ever before.

They don’t know what to do about it. So women end up just criticizing. That’s not going to work.

And gentlemen if you’re with a woman who ends up criticizing instead of drawing a real boundary that you can understand and instead, she expects you to read her mind and then blames you when you don’t meet those expectations — you don’t have to deal with that.

You really don’t.

And you don’t have to argue. Just ask her plain and simple what she needs. If she can’t answer you without criticizing you then she doesn’t understand exactly what she needs.

Perhaps she needs to think about it more and you can state that in a way calmly.

Try saying something like, “I’m happy to do what you need me to do I want you to feel comfortable, but if you’re not sure exactly what it is you need so that I can get specific information on how to fulfill that, then maybe we can talk about it at another time.”

It’s really important not to engage in a lot of tension, but it’s also equally important for a man not to just cave when she criticizes you. You’ve got to at least have the courage to say something and also say it without a lot of anger or aggression in your voice.

It’s time men stood up for themselves and for the women in their lives in a calm, quiet, forthright way.

Then it all starts with boundaries and criticism. Seeing the difference in being able to ask for clarification one way or the other.

So ladies, be clear on what you want from your man, voice your boundaries and get specific. Men appreciate specifics and gentlemen you can ask for specifics. Then this can all be done in a nice adult matter.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

It’s never perfect but, maturity has kind of gone out the window in this society.

So that’s it for this one.

Thank you for listening/reading and have a very sensual day, Dyann Bridges

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