How To Voice Boundaries Without Using Criticism {VIDEO}

Today we’re going to look at the difference between boundaries and criticism. And yes, there is a difference.

Now it’s important that when men and women are communicating, that a man understand where he stands with a woman. And women need to get better at offering boundaries. And that doesn’t mean you just criticize them.

This is really important, actually. It makes all the difference in the world to know how to say, this is what I really need. And if you could please do ABC and get specific and do it in a way that’s nonjudgmental or critical.

We need to remember that men are naturally defensive, for a reason, for a very good reason. Their instincts are to defend and protect and be territorial, which is exactly what we want from men.

That’s how they defend homes and families and property and help to take care of people in this world, especially women and children.

So we don’t want to neuter a man, in a way, by being too critical when describing what we need.

And ladies, we always have to remember, men and women do not think alike. Men are never going to think like us, and we don’t want them to be.

They’re much more straightforward, they’re simpler in many ways, and as women, it’s true that we are more vulnerable in many ways. And feminine energy is soft and yielding, that’s the nature of feminine energy.

Masculine energy is action oriented and forthright. And of course, both sexes have both energies.

But clearly, if you inhabit a physiology that is either male or female, you’re going to have more of one than the other. So having said that, it is becoming obvious in our society that more and more women are walking around feeling very angry.

And a lot of that has to do with the fact that men are not nearly as protective as they used to be. So women feel even more vulnerable, unsupported, and unprotected than ever before. And they don’t know what to do about it. So they end up just criticizing. That’s not going to work.

And gentlemen, if you’re with a woman who ends up criticizing instead of drawing a real boundary that you can understand, and she expects you to read her mind, and then blames you when you don’t, you don’t have to deal with that.

You really don’t. And you don’t have to argue. Just ask her plain and simple what she needs. And if she can’t answer you without criticizing you, then she doesn’t understand exactly what she needs, and perhaps she needs to think about it more. And you can state that in a way, calmly. Say, I’m happy to do what you need me to do.

I want you to feel comfortable.

But if you’re not sure exactly what it is you need, so that I can get specific information on how to fulfill that, then maybe we can talk about it at another time. It’s really important not to engage in a lot of tension, but it’s also equally important for a man not to just cave when she criticizes you.

You’ve got to at least have the courage to say something and also say it without a lot of anger or aggression in your voice. It’s time men stood up for themselves and for the women in their lives in a calm, quiet, forthright way. And it all starts with boundaries and criticism. Seeing the difference and being able to ask for clarification, one way or the other.

So ladies, be clear on what you want from your man. And get, um, specific.

Men appreciate specifics. And gentlemen, you can ask for specifics.

And this can all be done in a nice adult manner. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s never perfect. But, uh, maturity has, uh, kind of gone out the window. In this society.

So that’s it for this one. Thank you for listening and have a very sensual day.