The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength

In this podcast segment of The Bridges Bulletin – Old School Coaching For The Modern Man, Dyann Bridges discusses… The Importance of Avoiding Distractions and Building Strength.

You can also read the TRANSCRIPT below the video…

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to another edition of the Bridges Bulletin. Let’s get started.

Hello everyone, this is Dyann Bridges. I’m a coach and confidante for men.

Today, I want to talk about the three aspects of being a man that will make your life and your relationships fantastic. Guaranteed.

Gentlemen, if you concentrate on these three core issues, of strength, stability and structure… your life will improve drastically.

So in particular, today, I want to talk about building strength.

Number one, strength in men needs to be developed. It needs to be cultivated and it needs to start early.

So, it’s something that needs to be refined and practiced throughout a man’s life.

When I’m talking about building strength, I’m talking about a fortitude; where a man knows what’s important to him.

He knows his convictions and has the wherewithal to be able to stand up for that, voice it, and physically take action if he has to.

We’re seeing less and less of this type of strenth being developed today, especially with men under 40 or so.

Far too many men are not developing this type of strength at all.

They might be nice, but they’re not very reliable. You can’t really trust them with a lot of things or certain responsibilities.

As well, you certainly can’t count on them to stand up for something that’s important.

Like in a marriage or in a long-term relationship with a girlfriend or even at work.

couple, norma shearer, classic movie stars, Old Hollywood

Guys like this tend to be the nice guy in the office, but people know they’re not really gonna fight for anything.

That’s a problem, and if you don’t see how that’s a problem, then you haven’t really been dealing with life, you’ve been avoiding it.

That seems to be the reason, the main reason, for most of our crises these days in 2022 (and beyond).

It’s this avoidance of what is, of the moment and keeping ourselves distracted.

Not really looking within and owning what we find there,.

For men this is very, very important —→ knowing what you want to fight for.

Who are you?

Self-definition as a man is really critical. You’ve got to know what your values are. What do you value in yourself, in others and in life? Then what are you willing to stand up for? How will you protect what’s important to you?

So building strength is number one.

Without that, a man can’t develop a lot of stability or create a structure in his life.

So three things, strength, stability and structure are vital.

If you concentrate on developing no other traits, you can have a fantastic life and have fantastic relationships as a man.

Just concentrate on building those three characteristics, Strength, Stability and Structure.

And everything starts with strength. For men, especially..

So, physical strength is kind of a no-brainer.

You don’t have to spend hours and hours in the gym, but the school activity is important. Men are creatures of action.

So, you want to get moving, you want to test yourself physically on a regular basis, it’s going to make you feel better and it’s going to evolve you energetically.

Your mind is going to be stronger if your body is strong.

It isn’t much good, if you have a mind that’s very sharp and strong yet, it’s on top of a flaccid body.

Your body is the tool for implementation.

I guess it’s kind of like being a very skilled chef with a dull knife.

It’s hard to get anything done.

So, strengthen your body that’s a basic necessity. Definitely.

Now, in heart and mind, you have to know what you value, know who you are.

What do you find acceptable and important in yourself and in others in terms of character and quality of human being.

Have standards.

Have standards for yourself and others.

The most important thing is you really knowing on a deep level what’s important to you and what will you fight for.

This seems to be a big stumbling block for a lot of young men.

So, I encourage you to spend a lot of time thinking about that and your willingness to stand up for YOUR STANDARDS.

How willing are you to fight for what’s important and for yourself and for those around you.

Now for those over 40, I have noticed that a lot of men are starting to abdicate their strength. This used to be more important to them when they were younger.

They sort of let it go by the wayside.

Now some things you grow and you mature and you realize some things aren’t as important to you – which is fine.

But those are shifting areas of importance.

Giving up in a certain area of your life is not refinement.

I’m seeing more and more men over 40 or giving up on women and relationships and certain aspects of life and in their career.

This is because they feel like they’ve been trying and working so hard, in so many different areas and they haven’t gotten the appreciation.

They still get a lot of criticism or they get ignored, but then this is the time when you need to deepen your sense of strength.

Dive into that.

You might be ignored and criticized in many ways, but are you gonna fight for yourself?

If you’re still upright and breathing, it’s worth the fight. It’s worth the effort to continue to develop that strength.

There’s no end to it. You can go deeper and deeper into this as you get older, and yes, it can be hard, very hard.

Some things do start to feel like they come up over and over again.

It’s cyclical.

The dynamics will often be the same arguments that you have with your girlfriend or wife or the same problems at work or with your friends or in your neighborhood.

It all kind of feels the same after a while, but then that’s where building strength comes in.

Strength is knowing that you really can only control what goes on inside of you, in your perception and your attitude.

That the external world is gonna do what it’s gonna do.

To understand that and to be okay with it, is everything.

Gentlemen, it’s a very wise thing to have the grace and the strength to just allow the external world to do what it does, while you just keep moving forward.

Knowing what’s important to you and doing it anyway.

Even if you know that you could very well be criticized or ignored for it.

And if it’s something that’s not that important, and you’re getting criticized and ignored for it, maybe it’s time to stop it.

Have the strength change that too.

Especially, over 40.

Maturity and strength become more about refinement.

Once you’ve seen a lot of sun rises and sunsets it changes you. It makes you more refined. It tends to give you quiet strength.

Maturity and wisdom take time to integrate into your thought process and consequently into your physical body, into your spirit, your energetic being.

So stay strong everyone. Especially, you wonderful men.

The world needs your strength now more than ever.

Thank you for reading/listening and have a very sensual day.