What 'Respect' Really Looks Like For Men vs. Women

The term respect seems like it should be simple enough to understand and of course, demonstrate.

Yet this word often carries a different emotional and demonstrable meaning for men vs women.

The sexes often define and experience respect in distinct ways. Ways which are shaped by biology, culture, social expectations and the innate forces of the masculine and the feminine.

Below is a pretty nuanced look at how the term ‘respect’ is commonly understood by men vs women.

It’s easy to have misunderstandings in this area of male/female dynamics which is a HUGE reason why there can be so much friction in relationships, workplaces, and families.

How Men Tend To View Being Respected

First, let’s establish WHY men vs women view being respected and WHAT that looks like and feels like.

For many men, respect is closely tied to competence, capability, and status.

This seems to be partly ‘built in’ as men tend to be more competitive, view achievement as personal value, like to solve problems and fix things, like feeling self-reliant and offering protection and provision.

Having established that, we can see that these traits tend to need external validation to be recognized. These are not simply behaviors that can be internally measured as positive or negative and everyone else be damned.

These are feelings that are dependent upon behavior that demonstrates a result that everyone an see.

This is important to understand about men vs women. Since, it is different women as we’ll soon see…

A Man Feels Respected When He Is Recognized For His Abilities

When a man’s skills, intelligence, or decisions are trusted by others, he often interprets that as respect.

For example, if others ask him about his opinion on a decision he views that as respect.

If others allow him to handle a problem without interference, as well as, acknowledging his contribution and efforts in an area publicly.

Men tend to equate respect with being seen as capable and independent. In general, recognizing what he provides, whether that is financial, emotional, or practical, tends to communicates respect more than verbal praise alone.

A Man Feels DIS-Respected When…

Men do NOT like being micromanaged or second-guessed. Especially, in front of others.

This is one of the biggest reasons there is tension in long term relationships with women.

If there is a pattern of her questioning him about most of what he does, he experiences this as deeply disrespectful.

Putting this in the simplest terms, when a man feels respected he feels loved. When he feels disrespected he takes that as a sign of rejection.

How Women Tend To Experience Respect

For many women, respect is closely tied to nurturance, compassion, and equality.

This tends to be ‘built’ into women as many women prioritize family, friendships and work relationships as well.

Women are definitely much more aware of others emotions, the overall feeling or dynamic of an event or in a relationship (whether its their relationship or someone else’s), women tend to be much more co-operative and harmonious in general.

As a Result…

A Woman Feels Respected When She Is Recognized For Her Ability See and Understand Hidden Needs & Desires

So, when a woman is listened to and acknowledged that her point of view is valuable she feels respected.

So, a woman tends to feel Disrespected when…

She’s being interrupted, dismissed, invalidated or minimized for her concerns or view point.

For example, this might look like half-listening and then immediately trying to “fix” the perceived problem without truly understanding the concern.

A Woman Tends To Feel Very Respected When…

You take her emotions seriously without getting overly emotional yourself.

Actually listening and trying to understand why she may taking something personally even though it’s may not be. Respect for women is often seen as emotional attentiveness. The acknowledging of her inner perceptions and not just outward performance.

One of the biggest ways to demonstrate respect to a woman is valuing for her unique perspective.

And finally, women want to now that you see them as an equal partner if not equal to everything you do as a man — and visa versa.

Men vs women have their differences, obviously. Yet, that doesn’t make one gender ‘better’ than the other.

We are equal but not the same — as I like to say. If you can view it this way, you will go a long way to showing how much you respect your lady and women in general.

This can be demonstrated by shared decision-making and fairness. Especially, in intimate relationships.

For many women, love often feels strongest when it includes abiding consideration.

Where Misunderstandings Happen…

In the end, conflict in relationships between men vs women, often comes down to HOW the respect is demonstrated. (Our resident sexpert Susan Bratton explains how this dampens desire)

For example, a man may offer solutions to show care, but if it’s done too soon, before he truly understands what exactly the problem is then a woman may feel unheard.

A woman may question details of a man’s work or behavior feeling she is collaborating with him, but a man may feel doubted and challenged.

A man may focus on providing things materially, while the woman is seeking his kind, gentle presence.

These differences are why so often men vs women just don’t feel respected by the other.

In general, the feeling of respect is not really the same between men and women.

For many men, respect often sounds like, “I trust you.” “I know you can handle it.” “I appreciate what you do and I believe in you.”

For many women, respect often sounds like, “I get what you’re saying.” “You notice so much.” “That’s a great idea. “I hadn’t thought of it that way before.”

Ultimately…

At its core, respect is about recognizing the dignity, worth, and humanity of the person. The expression may be different, but the underlying need is universal.

Understanding what makes men and women feel truly respected is a dynamic that goes back to the beginning of human existence. Life has set it up for us to find balance through honoring our differences.

I take that very seriously and I appreciate you being here, reading this and for respecting women…

And ladies, if you’re reading this, demonstrate respect for men too. They need it and Deserve it.

In the meantime, Stay Sensual.

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