Getting A Woman To Orgasm Is No Small Feat
You may be surprised to know that performance anxiety happens to men AND women.
So, when you are performing oral sex on your lady and it’s been a little while and she hasn’t climaxed, you might start wondering why she hasn’t yet.
She may be making those sounds of enjoyment, yet still… no orgasm. You begin to wonder; What’s wrong?
Reaching the pinnacle of sexual pleasure isn’t easy for a woman, when she’s thinking a whole array of things that have nothing to do with you.
When was the last time she shaved/waxed? His mouth must be getting tired. Is he comfortable in that position?
Female performance anxiety (FPA) is a REAL thing and happens more often than a man might think.
The anxiety trigger could be that she’s worried about taking too long to climax, whether she’s doing sex ‘right’, or maybe she has some residual resentment toward you/her sex partner.
As well, we can’t underestimate the level of misogyny that runs through American, and indeed, global cultures.
It leaves a woman feeling like her very existence is tarnished and worthy of diminishment.
It’s no wonder then that a woman might have difficulty truly letting go and allowing herself to orgasm with you.
Orgasm On A Physiological Level
When we’re under stress, cortisol is released.
Cortisol suppresses the feel-good brain chemicals normally activated during sexual arousal.
And even if you do all the right things, so to speak, a body locked in the fight-flight-or-freeze mode stops sending erotic sensations to its recipient.
Orgasm anxiety makes a woman unable to stay focused on feeling how good it is to be with you sexually because she’s constantly distracted.
She’s out of the moment.
She might feel like it’s an ‘out of body experience’ rather than just enjoying being part of a wonderful sexual experience.
Unfortunately, at that point, anxiety and tension can become cemented in the nervous system.
This means she will start to blame herself since you haven’t done anything wrong.
You’ve only been trying to please her. So it must be her ‘fault,’ right?
Overcome Her Performance Anxiety
The first step to overcoming performance anxiety is to understand it happens to women too.
Since there isn’t an obvious erection for women, you can’t tell whether the sexual arousal system is working or not.
Understand it makes total sense that her emotions inhibit arousal.
But there’s a way to fix this and help her experience very powerful orgasms.
And if you want to know more about how to make a woman scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you…
Here is a very explicit video where Susan Bratton tells you exactly how to touch a woman’s va-jay-jay
Step 1. Drop Down Into Yourself & Sense Where She’s At
When you can see your partner is breathing in a quick and shallow manner when she’s nowhere near a climax, then slow things down.
Suggest she actively turn her attention to inhaling and exhaling, deeply and slowly, as she would when meditating.
This diffuses tension and refocuses her mind on her bodily sensations and not on her thoughts.
Stay in “make-out mode” which means reaching orgasm or a high state of arousal without intercourse.
Notice what her body does when you slow down. This can be helpful.
Also, it might be worth a try to purposefully have sex in pitch black darkness or while wearing a blindfold.
When one physical sense is turned off, the others are magnified.
That makes her zone in on every sexy touch you give her rather than worry about things that really don’t matter.
Step 2. Practical Relaxation
Sexual excitement and sexual trepidation are very much alike.
The difference is that when a woman is excited, she’s also a little relaxed. She’s breathing fully and able to stay present.
When she’s afraid however, she tenses up around that excitement.
Her breathing constricts and she starts projecting into the future. ie; she’s out of the moment.
TRY THIS: Take a small vial of valerian root oil and let her smell it.
Valerian root can lower chaotic activity by boosting her levels of gamma amino butyric acid. Which means she will quickly feel more calm.
Or use lavender oil…
Better yet, burn a lavender scented massage candle.
That way you can fill the air with the scent of lavender and then use the melted oil/wax combo from the massage candle to smooth sensually on her body.
Hello! These tips will work wonders!
Step 3. Sexual Compartmentalization
If she’s still not allowing herself to be present and in her body you’ll need to try something else.
She needs to feel all the wonderful sensations your working so hard to give her.
So, you’ll have to identify specifically which orgasm killing fear she has and work through it. She may have many of these fears.
For example; The fear of getting an STD or having an unwanted pregnancy, can be addressed by finding the right contraceptive methods for you.
However, if it’s a technique that’s missing the spot or spots, expand the sexy bedroom talk dialogue to specifics.
LOTS of specifics. Let her know that her gentle directives (like ‘yeah, right there’ or ‘don’t stop’) can go a long way.
Most importantly, accept that there are some things she may have to just compartmentalize until she can find a way to truly heal them.
Like what you say?
Well, body image for one.
If she despises the way her naked body looks she will have a very difficult time reaching a climax.
You can tell her how beautiful she is to you and it won’t help in many cases. He self loathing may be so strong that she ends up avoiding ses altogether.
In fact, it might be a good idea to just not notice.
Don’t try and compliment her into liking her body. Just let it go for now.
This will help calm her, so she can still be present enough to feel the sexual experience.
She can (and should) deal with the healing of her body image at another time.
Learn why it’s of paramount importance to create a “safe place” for her so she can let it all go.
Discover the variety of techniques for generating ejaculatory orgasms, including orally, manually, with toys and through intercourse.
Get tips on how to touch her to turn her on FAST… HERE… Look Below—>
Happy relating gentlemen! Have a sensual day, Dyann xo
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