Sex Workers & #MeToo:
Part of the Movement Whether We Like It Or Not
I recently read in a Times.com news article that the #MeToo movement is not interested in embracing the plight of sex workers.
Here is an excerpt from that article:
Like millions of others, Melony Hill took to social media last fall to say “me too.”
The 36-year-old Baltimore resident disclosed on Facebook and on her blog in October that she had experienced sexual violence. But rather than receiving an outpouring of support, Hill said she’s gotten messages saying that she deserved to be sexually assaulted — because she has worked in the sex industry for 20 years.
“They don’t want to include women like me,” said Hill, who has worked as a prostitute and a nude webcam model. “They’ll say we’re just whores anyway — ‘How can you sexually assault a whore?’ I’ve had that said to me multiple times.”
How many people judge those in the sex industry so harshly? Quite a few. Both men and women.
You’re Making My Point
So it brings me to a conversation I had with a client recently. We were discussing the #MeToo movement and I referenced this exact article.
He said, “That’s different.”
He then went on to tell me that because a prostitute has a “contract” with a customer she has given permission for him to step over certain boundaries to receive sexual acts in exchange for money.
My response to that was, “You’re making my point.”
He then allowed me to make my point.
My argument was that even the wildest escort will have at least one boundary she won’t cross.
One thing she won’t do… and she’s allowed to have it. Just because someone is paying her to have sex with them doesn’t mean the one paying can do absolutely anything to her they want.
For that I would suggest a blow up doll.
So I continued… a sex worker, even one with few limits, is still a human being with her own mind and body for which she [and only she] can set the terms for.
If a man uses whatever power he has over her [be it physical, financial, influential, extortion, etc.] to gain some type of sexual act from her that she has made clear she does not want to engage in, he has violated her.
Which puts her in the #MeToo category. Even if he’s paying for it. A line is a line. Period.
Fortunately, this client understood my point. In my experience, that’s not always the case.
Wrapping Up The Wrong
So in conclusion, I will say this is the biggest thing men get wrong about women and even women don’t always fully understand it.
Many women get so used to be pushed beyond their own boundaries they don’t even know where they are anymore.
This constant encroachment affects everything a women does. In every area of her life.
The constant encroachment that men engage in affects every interaction they have with women adversely.
We’ve gotten to a point in American evolution where too many men define themselves by how often they can get people [usually women] to do something they don’t really want to do.
That’s when a man is really a man. [?]
Getting those around them [usually women] to comply, deny and make no reply when they really want to object.
Okay… I guess you win… for now. But how is that working for you over the long term?
I meet many men in middle years who are either divorced or in sexless marriages. I meet A LOT of them.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Stop pushing women to reinforce your own desires. The truth is women want to please men… but we won’t do it without genuine respect for us.
Do that and the world of women becomes your oyster, gentlemen.
I promise. 🙂
Thank you for reading, have a sensual day. Dyann xoxo
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