The Treacherous Ins and Outs of Opening Doors For Women & What To Do Instead

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I’m a big fan of https://theartofmanliness.com.

In this article I’ll be highlighting the tips they offer men on opening doors for women.  

The Art of Manliness is run by a husband and wife team.

I believe it’s a full time career for both of them.

I salute them and encourage you to take a look at their offerings.

They’ve been around since the early 2000s.

 

Below is what Brett & Kate McKay have to say about men opening doors for women; There are two ways to mess up etiquette.

One is to ignore it altogether.

The other is to over-think it, overdo it, and thus make it weird and awkward.

 

So, keep that in mind as you read these guidelines; the most important thing to remember is simply to be natural and to use common sense!

It’s definitely not too complicated; these guidelines are simply designed to allow you to be smooth, instead of wondering what to do.  

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Opening doors for women requires their cooperation. 

If you get to the door before a woman, opening the door is simple. Just open the door and hold it for her. Things get awkward when you and the woman arrive at the door at the same time or she gets there before you.  

In these situations, opening doors becomes much like a dance. (Yes, it can be.)

Each sex has a role they need to fill for the operation to successfully work. If the lady arrives at the door before you or at the same time as you, she should step slightly to one side so that you can open the door without bumping her. If she opens the door for herself, that’s not a problem. See below…..  

If she starts opening the door for herself, just pull it further open. 

If your lady arrives at the door first and starts opening it on her own, all you need to do is to help pull the door open further. Don’t brush her hand off the door handle and don’t offer any sanctimonious “I insist” or “allow me” entreaties. Basically, don’t make a big deal about it.  

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With double doors, open the first, but not the second.

When there is a door, and then an entryway airlock area, and then another door, open the outside door, allow the woman to step inside the airlock, and then for the second door, do as indicated above and simply help the woman open the door as she goes through. Sometimes a woman may wait inside the airlock for you to open the second door entirely, and that is fine of course.  

Don’t knock her over to get to the door first. 

Some men, eager to show off their gallantry, will rush to the door to ensure they arrive before a woman does. Don’t do that. It just looks desperate and can make a date feel awkward. The key to a successful door opening and good manners in general, is to make it look effortless.  

If she doesn’t want the door opened for her, respect that.  Some women will tell you straight up that they don’t like doors opened for them. This may seem odd, but it’s her choice. So all you need to do is respect that. Let her open her own doors, and don’t make a big deal of it.  

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Don’t expect consistency.

 

Your lady might open several doors for herself in an evening, but then out of the blue she’ll step aside indicating that she wants you to open the door for her.  

 

So watch for that and read her body language.

Again, it’s like dancing.  

 

Women are unpredictable creatures. You just need to remember we all have free will.

Women will exercise that and you as the man just need to be consistent and non-judgmental.  

If it’s a swinging door, go through the door first and hold it for her. 

 

 

Doors that open inwards can prove tricky for any gentleman.    

 

The best way to deal with a swinging door is to go through the door before the lady does in order to hold the door open for her.

If she arrives at the door first and begins pushing the door open, stand on the side where the door hinges are and simply extend your arm over her head to take the door’s weight from her as she passes through.

Try to avoid the situation where you’re standing in the doorway holding the door open with your back.  

You don’t want your date tripping over your feet or having to squeeze herself between you and the doorframe.

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Also avoid the position where you’re standing at the door sill, on the side opposite the door’s hinges, holding the door open with your hand. This will force your lady to duck under your arm as she goes through the door.  

Your duty is to your woman, not the public at large. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve opened a door for a date and then stood there holding the door for a gaggle of complete strangers.

Consequently, my date was left standing in the lobby alone, waiting for me. After your woman has walked through the door, follow her through. I understand you want to be courteous to everyone, but your priority should be your date. This is very good advice.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should just let a door slam shut in somebody’s face. As you pass through the door, look behind you to see if anybody is following close behind and hold the door open long enough for them to take control of the door.

If you see somebody several steps away from the door, there’s no need to hold it open for them.

 

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With revolving doors, reach out and slow it down so that she can step in.

 This rule is especially true for older revolving doors that lack the auto-revolving feature that many modern revolving doors have.

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Thank you for reading this article on opening doors for women. For more content on male/female dynamics have a look below. Have a Sensual Day.

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