How do you keep lasting intimacy when that initial spark of romance fades into comfortable routine in a long-term relationship?
Yet, lasting intimacy remains achievable and deeply rewarding with intentional effort.
Reviving romance isn’t really about grand gestures. Although movies have done a lot to make us think so.
Lasting intimacy is really about nurturing trust, respect and joy which fosters emotional closeness, physical connection, and present moment living.
It sounds simple, but not always that easy over the long term.
So without further adieu, here are a few essential tips to revive that spark of romance and keep lasting intimacy in your relationship;
- First, prioritize open and honest communication — Effective dialogue forms the foundation of intimacy. This does NOT mean you share every little feeling you have. Sometimes it’s entirely appropriate to share how you feel immediately. Other times it’s best to wait. Also, there may be times you don’t share what you’re feeling at all. This is all fine and legit in a long term relationship with lasting intimacy.
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It really comes down to non-judgement.
- If you sit in silent judgement that’s a problem. If you are choosing not to say anything at the time because sharing your feelings in that moment may interfere with what is going on then, that is a wise thing to do.
Next, practice active listening – Maintaining eye contact without staring or being weird, asking for clarification when needed and staying silent while they make their point are part of active listening.
This includes being grateful, appreciative and playful with your partner. This is how a couple in a long term relationship, maintains their friendship and lasting intimacy.
Continually learn about your partner’s evolving interests, goals and stresses. One of the best ways to do this is to respond positively to their bids for attention like a small joke or silly gesture.
Giving someone your FULL ATTENTION is a tremendous gift.
***I find that many men – in particular – are absolutely starved for attention, affection, gentleness and compliments!***
So, ladies if you want to stand out and be a better partner to your man — Pay Attention!
Once you master active listening and really paying attention to your partner, then it may be a good idea to start scheduling alone time together.
Sometimes work and family obligations get in the way of really focusing in on your spouse and life partner. This way, if you know you will be together in private for a certain amount of time — it helps to spark romance and facilitates lasting intimacy.
The final stage in creating lasting intimacy in your long term relationship is cultivating physical affection. Especially, outside the bedroom.
It may seem odd that physical affection is the last stage in creating lasting intimacy, but without feeling respected, heard and supported without judgement and harsh criticism — physical affection wanes. Sometimes fast and completely – some of you know exactly what I mean. 🙁
So, try a lot of non-sexual touchingsuch as holding hands, cuddling, lingering hugs, or a 3-second kiss — all of these simple activities — with someone you love — releases oxytocin and fosters bonding.
Embrace the ongoing exploration of lasting intimacy.
Be open to evolving sexual dynamics as well. Try exchanging sensual massages, new sexual positions, and in general, focusing on mutual pleasure without expectations.
Self-care matters too! When the individuals in a long term relationship feel confident and energized, they bring more to the other person. Reviving that spark of romance is more about consistency, than perfection.
Lasing intimacy thrives when both partners are responsible for their inner environment and then listen and pay attention to the other without judgement or criticism. That way you can truly show up for the other person when they need it both — and visa versa.
Thank you for reading/listening. I wish you a very sensual day. Dyann xoxox
Contact Dyann: thebodyhouse.biz@gmail.com
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