Avoid Bad Decision Making About The Paths You Take After 50...

In this Bridges Bulletin podcast segment, I discuss tips on avoiding bad decisions. Especially after 50.

Bad thinking leads to bad decisions which can take you down a path that can be difficult to get out of.

When you’re over 40, 50 or even 60 it’s especially important to avoid making bad decisions.

There’s not as much time or energy available to turn it around later in life.

Starting over after 50 means starting fresh too!

Much about a successful restart has to do with frame of mind and ENERGY.

Keep your energy levels up and you stay young and healthy!

That really is the key to staying young… having energy. What drains energy?

Inner Resistance To What IS.

If you still regret that decision that changed the course of your life 25 years ago, maybe it’s time to put things in perspective.

When you start to really think through to the possibilities of where you could have ended up…

Many times you discover it’s not so bad after all.

(If the below video does not play click here to see it on youtube…)

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to another edition of the Bridges Bulletin. Let’s get started.

Hello this is Dyann Bridges and today I want to discuss rivers. The rivers of life that we jump into and then have a whole lot of trouble getting out.

First of all, I want to explain what I mean by a river in life and second of all I want to discuss how best to choose the right river to jump into.

So when I’m talking about a river in life, I’m talking about a path frequency and energy if you will.

I don’t want to get too esoteric, but simply this means a career path, what school you choose, getting into a relationship, choosing a home, where you’re going to live; these are rivers.

I describe them as such because there’s a flow to it once you get into one of these things.

There’s effort that you need to do to sustain it, but also it’ll go on with or without you.

So, yes there’s things that you need to do to participate in these rivers, but oftentimes they’re not easy to disengage from.

One way or the other these rivers are going to keep flowing without you.

Schools will still be there. The home will still be there. They’ll hire somebody else for that job.

So having said all that, you can understand how important it is to make these decisions with care.

Many times we do and many times we don’t and there’s reasons for that.

In The Beginning (Of Our Lives)

In the beginning of our lives, I do believe that we get extra energy, so that we can make mistakes.

This allows us to jump into a whole bunch of different rivers that aren’t really right for us. This extra energy gives us the energy to go through these ‘trial’ experiences.

However at some point, especially at midlife, it gets tougher to make the same mistakes.

You can jump into a new river at any time in your life, but once you reach a certain age what’s the point of jumping in to a familiar river?

Especially, one that you don’t really enjoy or you’ve had problems with before.

Why go down that road? How do you avoid a bumpy road, while still making good decisions, is one of the most powerful things that we can learn how to do.

Yet, statistically it’s been studied by scientists that most of the decisions we make is lacking the reasoning we need to make a good decision.

The decision is not thought through very well. We decide to do something with very little foundational reasoning behind it. Even for some of the bigger things like buying a home or taking a career offer.

Now, after 40 and 50 in your life, how you make decisions is going to become more and more critical.

Why? Because you have to use your energy more wisely.

Life insists on it.

It will tax you more heavily in the form of energy if you keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

That’s certainly what I’ve noticed in my life.

So being deliberate in your decision making is vital at this point, if you want to stay happy and healthy.

To do that, you’ll need to reassess what really gives you joy. You’ll need to ask who are you really? What do you want to contribute? What can you see yourself doing for at least the next two or three years and preferably into the next five or ten years?

Do you love that home in that area enough to want to spend the next five or ten years there?

Or is it just for the next six months to a year? Either way is fine, but you’ve got to know your priorities and where you want to go in your life.

Sometimes we’ve gotten into a bit of a habit.

By the time we reach midlife, we feel we should do certain things. We should take that job. That we should live in that area. We should drive that kind of car. We should hang out with those types of people.

Yet, if you just really listen and notice, you may discover there’s a tiny bit of discontent or restlessness underlying those types of ideas and decisions.

You might start to realize that certain types of cars or people or neighborhoods don’t necessarily appeal to you. You don’t necessarily want to do those things, hang out with those people, live there or drive that.

Maybe, you might be content with something not quite as grand in terms of a car. Or perhaps you’d rather have a home that’s more remote or smaller or hang out with different kinds of people.

It could be that you enjoy hanging out with people who are slightly more socially awkward, but you find them more interesting that most others.

This is valid and being honest with yourself.

In this regard, it’s very important. Then you can make better decisions and jump into much more exciting rivers. Rivers that fit you and your life.

It should be easier. The current in your life should carry you along much more readily as you get older.

Why? Because you know yourself better. You’ve worked through a lot of insecurities and fears when you were younger and now you’re more content. You have more peace of mind. You’ve attained many more skills than you had when you were younger.

As well, you have a better understanding of life in general. You should be rewarded with things falling in place for you more easily.

That can only be done if you honor the power and authority that you have now, at this stage in your life.

Instead, too many times, we bemoan the paths we’ve taken or hung on to regrets. This just steals your energy.

What you can do is re-frame these memories and ideas. Sometimes it’s necessary to concede that you could have handled certain things better.

Perhaps at the time you made a certain decision it ended up being very difficult because they were not your own reasons. Maybe you relied on somebody else’s viewpoint instead of your own.

Owning that is fine. Now you get to do it your way.

So, I hope this has been helpful. My intention was to offer some thoughts on how to clarify making a decision that gets you in the right river.

I don’t want you spending any more energy than you have to in the wrong river.

Your life should be fun. You should feel good and you should be using your energy in ways that uplift you and the people around you. Being around others who inspire you and make you laugh.

That’s it for now. I hope that’s given you something to consider.