Recently, I’ve read articles on how a man can be a good lover to a woman. So it made me wonder if a man knows the difference between being a Good Lover or a Good Partner?
*Of course, women need to ask themselves this too. However, this blog is for MEN.* 😉
Most of the information concentrated on the specific sexual things men can do to help women reach orgasms.
If that’s the kind of information you’re interested in learning about that’s great! I applaud you and thank you.
However, I wanted to highlight the difference between being a great sexual lover and a great partner who is also a great lover in women’s lives.
3 Pillars of Being a Great Lover
I recently watched one of Alex Allman’s videos. Alex is a really terrific sex and relationship coach whose information you can find… HERE.
He shows men how to increase sexual confidence and become a good lover by concentrating on three distinct aspects of themselves.
I’ve paraphrased and put my own spin on them.
Here they are:
Pillar #1 – Authenticity
This is simply being genuinely who you are. Although it sounds easy, in our modern world it really isn’t.
To do that, we’ve got to relax enough to really experience the energy of our own selves.
Instead of bracing against Life, try to allow the energy of people and situations to flow around and through you.
It’s not easy, but a sense of peace is always worth it.
Pillar #2 – Being Present
Again, this sounds soooo simple, but modern America is a country of distractions.
Nobody. Beats. Life.
Until I figured that out I spent much time and effort as a young person railing against Life.
We can only control ourselves. Right? If we seem to control others it’s only by their agreement with us.
Otherwise, you’d have to force them to do your bidding and then this blog won’t help you.
Do your best to pay attention and accept everything that is right in front of you right now.
You don’t have to like it. Just roll with it.
Pillar #3 – Your Masculinity
This is where the rubber really meets the road.
Our new millennial society has progressed so fast that our definition of what makes a man masculine has changed drastically.
Where the kitchen was once exclusively a woman’s domain it’s now dominated by rock star chefs with their own TV shows known for yelling, swearing and making 5 star meals in minutes.
So what does it mean for today’s man?
Modern masculinity is a big, broad, meaty subject. I’m not going to attempt to define all of it here.
So I’ve boiled it down to 3 (meaty) pillars to give you a general overview.
Here they are:
3 Pillars of Modern Masculinity (from a woman’s point of view)
#1 – At the highest level of humanity… we are all equal.
This would seem obvious, but many of us live like we believe there is a human hierarchy.
If you, as a man, knew deep down in the marrow of your bones that without a doubt, all women are equal to all men, I could GUARANTEE you this;
You’d find a woman who’d treat you like the solid gold stallion you are.
To be frank, there are not enough men who truly understand that women and men are equal at our core.
If you can get this, you would instantly have an easier time with women. ‘Nuff said.
#2 – Knowing when to push and when to back off
I’ve written about this in other posts. It’s worth mentioning again.
Start paying attention to when a woman puts down a boundary. Some will be firm and others movable.
If you want to have better relationships with women you’ve got to get better at recognizing which is which.
Unfortunately, women are not always good about giving men a clear distinction with their boundaries… then we blame you guys for not getting it.
I know it’s not fair, but I’m trying to give you guys the inside scoop.
The issue of knowing when to push and when to back off is an extremely difficult element for men to get right.
It’s not your fault. Relating to women is an obstacle course.
Just pay attention and try to read the signs. Think of it like moving to France without knowing french.
If you watch closely enough you’ll eventually figure out what they’re saying.
#3 – Desire
Women want to be wanted and men want to want.
Do whatever you can to keep that fire of desire for your woman alive.
Be the hunter. Go after her in the smallest of ways. Believe me, we notice when you pay attention.
Keep the fire alive inside you and you’ll be the good lover she’ll want to respond to…. every day.
Thank you for reading. Have a Sensual Day. Dyann xoxo
