A Note to MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)
It wasn’t until recently I discovered the term MGTOW or Men Going Their Own Way. I had to look it up.
The definition is as follows (verbatim): MGTOW is basically the statement of self-ownership and saying that only you have the right to decide what your goals in life should be.
It is saying that, as a man I will not surrender my will to the social expectations of women and society, because both have become hostile against masculinity.
(Below is the example included with the definition)
Male 1: “Dude, why don’t you have a girl friend?”
Male 2: “It’s not for me bro, I’m a MGTOW.”
**MGTOW is basically the statement of self-ownership and saying that only you have the right to decide what your goals in life should be.**
This first part of the definition makes sense and is not anything we haven’t read in a thousand self help books over the last two decades.
It’s the second part of the definition that seems much more “updated” and a disturbing commentary on young men of the new millennium.
**It’s saying that, as a man I will not surrender my will to the social expectations of women and society, because both have become hostile against masculinity.**
Are you kidding me? Society and women have become hostile against masculinity? Did I read that right?
After thousands of years of feminine oppression let’s not pass the torch just yet.
It’s true women have made great strides in equality.
However, once a segment of society tastes the freedom and power of superiority, it’s tough to go back to scraps. If we’re being honest, (and why else are we here?) perhaps women & society have become a bit hostile toward men.
As a point of contention, (because I like being contrary) may I suggest that, society and women have become hostile toward particular displays of masculine behavior, if not individual men.
Case in point; I write this article in the wake of a shocking attempted rape which happened at approximately 3:30am on Sunday, June 26th in the Prospect Park section of Brooklyn.
The assault was caught on surveillance camera. I, like many have seen the video. I will give you a brief account to make my point and to keep us on the same page.
In short, a 34 year old woman was walking along a sidewalk and a man snuck up behind her and began pulling up her skirt. She grabbed her skirt to avoid it being raised any further and was pushed (or perhaps slid) to the ground. As she tried to fend him off, he hit and spanked her while ripping some of her clothing.
Fortunately, the assault didn’t last long. He gave up quickly. There was a moment just before he ran away that suggested to me he was surprised it had been as difficult as it was to get her to submit.
It was almost as if he expected her to surrender once he had overpowered her. Even the reporter described him as being “frustrated” and running off.
Could it be that ubiquitous porn and ridiculously easy and plentiful consensual sex have men believing that a spontaneous sexual overtaking is every woman’s fantasy?
Does it encourage men to feel entitled to just take what they want from women? Does it make men feel like they “own” women? That we are here for your pleasure?
You know what? The irony here is that women really want to please men. We want to be ravished. But not raped. We want to feel claimed. But not controlled.
BUT… Here’s the qualifier: Women want to be “overtaken” by a man in these ways ONLY if they TRUST HE WON’T HURT THEM.
Aye, there’s the rub.
Strong, smart, sensual women will “surrender” and “submit” (read: soften) to men they know they can RELY ON to UPHOLD THEIR DIGNITY & KEEP THEM SAFE.
Tah-da! The Big Secret revealed!
It sounds like a horrible cliche, but there is much truth in it. An honest, self aware woman will tell you that.
The line between ravished and rape can be blurry for some guys.
It takes Boldness, Respect and Sensitivity to pull this off without an ensuing battle. Precious few men have this combination.
Maybe it’s asking too much?
The news report said the woman refused medical treatment (presumably because she didn’t need it) and is co-operating with police fully.
Physically, he didn’t inflict lasting damage. Psychologically though… we will never know.
This type of incident can change a woman forever in the worst way. Namely with F-E-A-R.
Your instincts and duty as men should be to protect us. If that protective instinct doesn’t come naturally for you or seems to be missing then there’s either something wrong, you have a lot of work to do or both.
The news report states, it was 3:30am and she was walking by herself.
Not the best move, but I’ve had to walk home many, many (did I say many?) nights from the subway to get home in dicey neighborhoods by myself.
Hell, I still do. So, if anyone says she was “asking for it” I might hurt them.
What has this got to do with MGTOW?
**FYI – There’s even a well visited site dedicated to the term MGTOW and the corresponding “lifestyle” if you will.
Quite simply the “hostility women and society have for masculinity” is to some degree real and even a little bit deserved. So, why wouldn’t a man go his own way?
Before you answer that… answer this; When was the last time a woman came up behind a man and tried to rip his clothes off at 3:30am? Isn’t that every man’s fantasy? Ironically, it might be.
Or perhaps I’m being cynical? Or even… hostile.
So, MGTOW… I guess all I really wanted to say to you is, if you really want to go your own way, you can. It’s your choice.
However, It seems very lonely and rather desolate. Men NEED women.
Much more so that women need men. This is the truth. Mature and observant men will agree.
I am a woman who wants to SUPPORT the best version of masculinity our society can muster.
So, I implore you to find that place in yourself that can find many reasons to protect and respect the FEMININE force women possess… and that you so desperately need.
Once you do I’m sure you’ll find women and society much less hostile toward you. 🙂
Sensually Yours, Dyann Bridges